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Kick-Ass Jiggle-Fest

I cashed in my prize from placing in the the Kick-Ass talent contest and got to witness the Kick-Ass Girls Burlesque show produced by Lionsgate and Devil’s Playground. It was one of the better jiggle-fests I’ve been too, on par with the epic Lucha VaVoom and this place in Vegas we’ll say no more about except to say that it wasn’t really burlesque at all. For a rating, I give the show a 32C.

Daisy Meadows’ turn as Pris from Blade Runner was my favorite routine of the night. The worst was definitely when the host of comicsoncomics.com, Juan-Manuel Rocha, did a performance art piece with a camera. Courtney Cruz, who is the ringleader of this troupe, picked my favorite comic book vixen, the modern Silk Spectre from Watchmen. Also portrayed were Chun Li from Street Fighter (by Gia Rose), Cherry Darling from Planet Terror (by Olivia Bella Fontaine) and Wonder Woman (by the breastacular Lucy Fur). The boobariffic host, Mia Vixen, had also an impromptu jiggle. I don’t usually approve of improv, but I will let this one go.

I gained a promotional Hit-Girl t-shirt, and now I just need a Red Mist and Big Daddy t-shirt for a complete set of all four main character t-shirts. I’m not entirely sure what I just said, because I haven’t seen the movie or even read the book. Despite that, even I know that it is not OK to lust after Hit-Girl, because the character is 12-years old. A representative from the L.A. Weekly (a publication best known for it’s poor spelling) was in attendance. She went on stage and said that the girls looked sexably hot in the Kick-Ass trailer. I yelled, “They’re underage,” and there was laughter. Normally, I don’t approve of heckling, but they spelled my name wrong.

Courtney Cruz as the Silk Spectre from Watchmen

Juan-Manuel Rocha's performance art piece

Me being me, y'know, like I do.

Dasiy Meadows as Pris from Blade Runner

The Ellay Weagly was in attendance.

Olivia Bella Fontaine as Cherry Darling

Courtney Cruz as the Silk Spectre

Gia Rose as Chun Li with Power Ranger

Lucy Fur as Wonder Woman

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admin, April 11th 2010 | Tags: boobs, burlesque, comics, kick-ass
Posted in off topic

I’m in the L.A. Weekly… (and they spelled my name wrong)

The L.A. Weekly has an article about this week’s talent contest. Before you ask the embarrassing question… No. It doesn’t look like I’ll be winning the ass-kicking contest. Someone racked up about a thousand votes between 7 pm and midnight. Though I will not get to put 1st place on my resume, I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing I was not online stomping for votes on a Friday night. Before hitting the bars, I did adventure onto chatroulette.com to find some new friends to vote for me, but all I saw were 47 penises, 6 boobs, 3 vaginas, 1 naked couple, 1 tiger and 1 dog.

It looks like I’m going to take 3rd place and win tickets to a Kick-Ass themed burlesque show though. You better believe I’m going, even if I have to take the 110. Naked dancing ladies is a pretty good consolation prize.

The best part about the L.A. weekly article, aside from spelling my name wrong, is that they’ve put up a picture of me singing. Singing is pretty much the time when I least want my picture taken. It looks good on video, but when you cut out a single frame, the singer either looks constipated, like they just smelled something awful or like a complete dick. In the picture in the L.A. Weekly, I look like I just smelled a constipated dick.

I thought it might be fun to do a retrospective of the worst pictures ever taken of me on stage, but it turns out, most of them have been deleted. Those that remain are still pretty bad. We’ll start this retrospective of bad singing pictures with a look I like to call, “Stinky Microphone Face.” It shows up in about 80% of the pictures taken of me. The rest are divided between”Yelling for no Reason Face” and “Confused by Myself Face.” As you can see in the last one, when I’m not singing I am all rock ‘n’ roll.